Falling pt II

I admit it.
I am afraid of my heart
beating and breaking.

I am afraid of losing control
or giving anyone control
because you always held it
so tightly in your fists
yielded as a weapon.

I admit it,
I am afraid of your heart
feeling nothing
for mine.

Because you never admitted
to the way you hurt my body
over and over again.
Or how you scarred my memory,
and later
rubbed salt in the wounds.
Or how you ignored my tears
and said get used to it.

I admit it,
you conquered me
as you did
everything else in your life.