Fear of Falling, Fear of Open Sky

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I peer over the edge, feet planted
firmly on rock.
Where did this fear come from?
My hands quiver. I worry
I will fall straight off the face of the Earth.
I am scared I will fly into the abyss,
lose control
in my panicking.
My knees knock with fright.
It’s hard to look up at all the mountain peaks
surrounding me, even though they are
so beautiful, so majestic.
Hard to breathe.
Hard to swallow.
My heart is racing.
I used to be able to do this.
Now I feel unsafe.
I try to breathe deep and slow,
fight the urge to cling to the meager,
scrappy weeds pushing up through the granite.
But if I sit down,
the sky might crush me.
I might not be able to get up ever again.
Tears start to drop from my cheeks
more quickly. I’m frustrated.
So frustrated that I can’t do this.
I want to be okay.
I want to feel comfortable here.
I can’t stop sobbing
and feeling helpless.
Why do I feel unsafe
when there is stable ground beneath my feet?

Affirmations to Counter Anxiety

I’ve collected these from around the Internet and adapted them to resonate with me.
Please use them if you find them helpful!

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-I don’t need to fight my anxiety. It is just a habit my body reacts to. I will find feelings of peace, security, and confidence and accept them.

-I am capable of solving any problems I face.

-This might seem difficult right now, but it will become easier and easier over time.

-Everything I need comes to me at the right time.

-Pushing myself outside of my comfort zone brings me amazing opportunities.

-I let go of the judgements I make about myself, and others will do the same.

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And my favorite…

I can do this. I am a badass boss bitch!

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Credits: http://www.dumblittleman.com ; https://www.powerofpositivity.com ; http://www.anxietynetwork.com

A Slice of Paradise

I worked hard to challenge my anxiety this weekend– by trying to stay flexible, be practical, open, and treat myself with compassion and understanding.

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It’s exhausting to be anxious and trying not to panic for an entire day. It’s also difficult to explain to others just what’s going on with me. I was rather quiet and withdrawn at times.

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Thankfully I managed to calm myself down and eventually enjoy my time in the lovely North Cascades National Park. As you can see, it was gorgeous.

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I refuse to let fear dictate what I will do and where I will go!

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