Dating with Depression

I get so scared to let new people into my life because relationships affect me so profoundly and so quickly. I’m afraid I’ll be hurt and the other person will be left indifferent and unaffected. I’m afraid I don’t matter to people. Maybe this is depression getting inside my head. I’ve believed this for a long time and always felt the need to have significant others prove their love to me. Sometimes I try to pretend I’m indifferent because I’m afraid of showing vulnerability. I’ve become vulnerable and been hurt badly before, sometimes in ways that were unfair and unequal.

I thought I was ready to start dating again and to look for a partner but I feel like this has reopened a rift in my happiness, security, and confidence. I want to let others into my life and to trust them, but I don’t feel comfortable. Quite the opposite. My insecurities and doubts about my self-worth have all come flooding back in an instant.

I’ve been trying to uncover my core beliefs and cognitions that are causing me to break down but I can’t seem to so far.

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5 thoughts on “Dating with Depression

  1. For me personally I can relate. As someone who fights both depression and anxiety I have trouble often getting what I want out of partners. Sometimes I don’t even know. The depression makes me question if someone (who truly loves me) actually does. Because of one off moment. It will snowball and all of a sudden I think the relationship is in trouble. I’ve learned to recognize it and deconstruct it sometimes to take a step back, but it’s not the easiest thing to do. It’s actually very far from. What I know is that I have discovered myself and my depression both through relationships and by myself. As hard as it is don’t be afraid to at least try. You never know what you might learn. Keep fighting the fight, you are not alone.

    I run a blog on mental illness called “Dear Hope”, join the community here: wemustbebroken.com

    • Thanks for sharing your experience! I agree that there is much to be learned through both being alone and being in relationship. I’m not sure if I’m ready yet but I suppose time will tell.The first steps can be the hardest. Thanks again for the comment. 🙂

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