tainted

do you ever feel like maybe
your soul is just a little bit dirty?
like there’s a mark on your being
that refuses to be rubbed away?

i feel this sometimes
after we’ve finished a nice conversation
and i remember i will never be loved
in the way that i need
because i need a soul-crushing kind of love
to keep my mind off the pain
of being inherently wrong
and inherently uncomfortable
and believing above all else
that this sadness will never go away

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