Hedonist

I pack the night into a bowl, ignite,
and watch it go up in smoke.
Sip coffee, sit stiffly in the wind
searching for a feeling. A friend
crawls into bed, or do I drag them?
Not pursing pleasure so much as
evading pain. Pill swallowing,
I’m trying to stop. Cotton mouth
candy tongue queen. Hands take control.
Take over the steering wheel, I say.
I want to give myself up to the feelings.

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